Alhamdulillah, today marks our baby turns 5 months and 4 days. The journey has been life changing and so beautiful. I quitted my stressful job as a project executive at a development company. Its a billion dollar project of constructing Kedah Integrated Fishery Port (KIFT) in Kuala Kedah. My ex-boss was training me on the technical parts of building a ship. Which is a part and parcel of an engineering point of view but I suppose, once I am fluent in the construction of the ship and its benefits, I am supposed to convince fishermen to buy our modern ships which technology comes from China. A modern fishery vessel which the fishermen can go further with into the deep sea of the Indian Ocean to catch tuna fishes which will then be processed at KIFT and then be sent to China for the tuna to be exported all around the world.
I loved the project and its big prospects. The fact that I get to learn hands-on and be part of one of Malaysia's history changing projects. But, since this is my first ever pregnancy, I really do not want to jeopardise our baby's health by being stressful everyday. Upon agreement, I quitted the job and spend most of my time enjoying the growth of our baby and even, enjoying being a baby. Because we all know once we delivered the baby, we are no more babies. We are guardians of our new borns. So now I am really taking my time to embrace this journey, read on baby's growth and practice on becoming a mindful mother, prepare spiritually mentally and physically to care for our new born because honestly motherhood requires copious amounts of resolve, confidence, stamina, endurance and calmness. And this is what my husband and I are training ourselves to be. Day by day, we are getting there alhamdulillah.
Becoming mindful to the growth inside our tummies is very important. Slowly God develops the motherly instincts inside ourselves and it is essential that we give attention to also put effort into growing the motherly instinct given to us so that when the baby comes out, we are more prepared to care and love for the child. This is particularly important for the parents (mothers especially), because when we are prepared spiritually, mentally and physically to receive the baby - we will be happier in terms of taking care of the new born and loving them with all the might. Things could get more complicated when we are not prepared for this life changing event or accepting the fact that our lives soon will revolve around them - like they are our new lives. Thus, if we can nurture ourselves into becoming this accepting mother of the changes that our child will bring upon us, we will be happier. When we are happy, our child will be happy, so does our husband and our surrounding.
One of the things that you can do to connect with your child and becoming mindful to your pregnancy is:
Giving Vitality to Your Baby through Your Breath
After a hectic day at work, come back refreshed with a calming shower. A shower in which - you lather yourselves with the foam of the soap, massage your head when you are shampooing your hair and just take your time to enjoy your shower or bath. Smile while you are doing this and know that in your heart; yourself and your baby are appreciating you for taking time to treat yourself to a nice me-time, cleaning yourselves off the dirt of dusty air and exhaling all the tiring and negative thoughts you had in the day. Let it all go - it doesn't serve you anymore. What happened, happened. What was done, was done. Let it be. Let it go. Let, go.
Then you shower yourself off the soap foam, closing your eyes while picturing that you are cleansing all the dirts of the day, all the gossips that you've heard, your boss blaming or shouting, all your bad thoughts about an event or how annoyed you felt when your colleague spoke something bad about you or someone you respect. Anything that doesn't serve you anymore - just, let, them, go. Let, go. Its nicer to shower with warm water as it will calm your senses down after a long day at work and getting you ready for sleep.
After a warm shower or bath, you might want to thank God for all the beautiful things he has bestowed upon you today and be grateful to Him for still helping you survive your day and most of all giving you the time to enjoy life and precious moments with your love ones. You'll take your time and pray Isha' mindfully, thanking Him for all the wonderful things He has given you. You also take the time to do zikr after your solah and then when you pray to Him, you smile and let Him know how you love Him for everything He has blessed you with.
You then lie down on your bed with the lights off or with a very dim orange light, calm your mind and body. Feel any tension that is stuck in your body and breathe the tensions out of you. You inhale all the positivity deeply, and give a long exhale out of all the negativity left that you still have in you. You continue to inhale deeply and your baby absorbs vitality. You exhale, and you draw your baby closer to your core - nurturing your unborn child with your breath flow, holding them in the gentle rhythm of your life force.
Let your breath flows and feel the life energy rising within you, continue breathing without mental effort or exertion. Feel your breath deepens and your body relaxes deeper each time you inhale and exhale out your breaths as your mind quiets down and your body relaxes into tranquility. You are no longer mechanically breathing, but consciously connecting your mind to the source of your vitality.
Your ego may resist being told to slow down. What it wants to do is for you to keep busying your mind with things that no longer serves you. That's okay, it is normal that your ego would not want to cooperate with you. Don't judge it - it's just its job to be like that (ego is God's creature too and its their nature to behave so). Accept that your ego is trying to shift your mind into something else rather than calling for tranquility and calmness and let it go while you continue focusing on your breath and bringing vitality to your unborn child. Be patient and persistent. If you need to, stretch out your body and bring back your mind into concentrating on your breath and the unborn baby even when your ego is trying to distract you and reclaim its control over your attention.
Keep on being patient and persistent. Soon, your mind will become receptive to following your breath flow, enabling you to drop more easily into a meditative state of alertness. Then, you can feel your energy and the current that flows inside you connecting to your womb which holds your unborn baby.
With this done, you will feel more connected with your baby and likewise. You might even feel that they are speaking back at you, thanking you for taking the time to really connect with them after your hectic day's work - letting you know how happy they are to be granted your precious time for them.
Because really, when you do this every night now before your baby is born, you will already create a habit to always spend sometime with them mindfully no matter how bad your day went. This is not only good for them but for you especially as their role models, and ultimately giving you the feeling of accomplishment when you've done good for your child and contentment to end your day beautifully for a new fresh beginning the next.
PS: This is not only beneficial for mothers to be, but for anyone who really wants to let go of the past, be free of any negative thoughts that have been holding you down and for those who want to enjoy their present moment.
Goodnight, let's hop on the bed and calm our mind and body, getting ourselves ready to shutdown and looking forward to a new day tomorrow.
Love,
Mus
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