A Bun in the Oven ❤️

Home for now, 12th December 2016.

Allahumma solli ‘ala sayyidina Muhammad wa ‘ala Ali sayyidina Muhammad. 

Salam Maulidurrasul, 12 Rabiulawal 1438H.

I'm not sure how to do this –

A part of me is wanting to make it private and just surprise everyone once the baby comes out inshaAllah. But another bigger part of me is wanting to share and exchange (with other mothers) about the ups and downs of being an expecting mother, pregnancy diet tips, pregnancy yoga & last but not least, maternity style yay! 😄

Usually, when a person isn’t married yet, people ask “Bila nak kahwin?”, when a person is married but haven’t been blessed with a baby yet, people ask “Bila nak dapat anak?”, when a person is married and have been blessed with a son, people ask “Bila nak dapat anak perempuan pulak?” (& vice versa), and when a person has been blessed with a pair of son and daughter, people ask “Bila nak tambah anak lagi?”

Hahahahaha.

I guess, we all can relate to these nerve-wrecking questions to a conversation (or our people say, soalan cepumas) which following our moods – sometimes we can take it openly and sometimes we just feel like punching them in their face for being nosy. My husband and I have been asked “Bila nak dapat anak?” a lot of times too. Most of the times, we take it openly because after marriage we always pray to Allah that “You will give when the time is right and You know best”. With that, we enjoy our single lives together doing the things that we know once we have a baby, we might have to put extra effort into doing or finishing it.

We’ve been married for 2 years and only now God decides to bless us with a child and we believe that it means, we are ready now following our prayers to Him, inshaAllah. So, don’t worry if you’ve been married for a year, 3 years, 5 or more but haven’t been blessed with one. Keep on praying and believing in His blessings. Just like how Nabi Zakaria did – he never gave up in praying to Allah for a child and finally (even when he’s old and his wife infertile), Allah blessed him with Nabi Yahya (Surah Maryam, Ayat 1-10).

In the meantime, keep enjoying your single life with your spouse. Explore something new like going dirty dancing together (tango, waltz or fusion dance whatever you prefer to keep the heat going 😜), caving or diving, start a healthy lifestyle with clean eating together, attend religious talks and become an avid volunteer to a cause that you really care for. For example, becoming a weekend teacher to the Rohingyan or Syrian kids, or just spend sometime with them talking about their dreams and ambitions.

And also, don’t worry! When you are asked these soalan cepumas, try to take it lightly and say “Pray for me” (because most of the times, people just want to break the ice but don’t know where to start) or giggle while putting your hand over your mouth, or if that time you are feeling annoyed but can’t punch them in the face (obvsly!), you just muster your courage to fake a smile and walk away. 😆

And if there are married women out there who really want to get pregnant but haven’t been blessed so yet, or anyone really wanting something but it just doesn’t come your way yet, try practicing this doa (after every solat fardhu) which after sometime of practicing this prayer – soothed me a lot when I was confused with my career path.

"Ya Allah! Berikanlah aku keredhaan atas penentuanMu dan berkatilah aku pada apa yang telah ditentukan (diqadarkan), hingga tidaklah aku ingin mendahulukan apa yang Engkau lewatkan dan tidak pula melewatkan apa yang telah Engkau dahulukan. Amin."

To expecting parents out there, may He ease it all and that we make it through the journey inshaAllah amin. Next update on pregnancy would be on how we found out that we are pregnant!

Till then. Love yous,

Mus

Raining

It’s raining and my favourite thing to do while raining is to write. I’ve not written for so so long. Tho I miss it, I can’t quite find myself finishing even a post when I try to. And I figured I write when I’m enthusiastic, when I’m on a project, when I’m on top of the world. But, when I’m feeling normal I can’t usually write. I’ve been feeling normal for a very very very long time now and it’s totally not something that I am proud of but it has made my heart sooth from all the yearns of my surrounding. And I’m glad.

Things that motivate me are my reasons to write. I know how my life has been all about setting goals and achieving them. But this time, its been a bit slow in that. I’ve been going on with the flow which wasn’t me at all. Still it’s good. To explore and create different sides of character which I never knew existed in me. I learned to listen which I never really did before this, I learned to analyse which I never knew its importance before this, I learned to improve which I thought I had it all before this.

17th July 2016

The Swirling Mus, July 2015. 

My husband sang the birthday song so softly to me at 00:00 only to be saying “I know how it felt, turning 25” at 11:30pm on the same day. “My moments of truth were turning 16, maybe turning 18 when we left high school, absolutely turning 20 when we left the teenagers and 25 when we really entered adulthood”, added him.

Contradictory to me, my moments of truth were only turning 20 yes when we left teenagers and turning 25 – absolutely – when we really entered adulthood. Wow, welcome to adulthood Mus. I’m a proper adult now and I don’t wish to meddle in petty things. Ceh hahahahahahaha. So let’s keep ’em at bay, please. And if I ever become petty myself, lemme know that softly and firmly, so I can continue being an adult again.

Thank God for bringing me this far, Alhamdulillah. I wouldn’t wish for anything more, for now this is abundant x infinity. I had so much fun growing up especially with my girls and family (you don’t need to know me close enough to notice that I am more a friend-oriented person than family from my pictures uploaded). But on the day I turned 25th, the occasion was different for me. I spent my whole day in the being of family, yes the whole 24 hours. Felt odd but it was true and very encouraging for my strive to become more family-oriented. Somehow, this has sparked out gently from the day I wished I was more balanced or at least have a division of 60% family and 40% friend oriented.

From time to time I have also managed to cut loose irrelevant people in my life which was a struggle for me as I was really a people person. But time, does does magic. You should do this too, remove toxic and parasites from your life. This makes your life more worthwhile and you can start focusing on your self-development rather than wasting your time, energy and money on unimportant things. The best is, you will feel more alive and present. Like how the yogi usually said it,

Be grateful, mindful and you’ll be more present.

Yes, I understand it is always hard to move on from someone who you have had some collisions with especially when you keep it inside and never confess. I love confessions so much that I don’t usually get them. You know the life equation which when you love something you don’t really get them but for the people who hates being confronted or confessed at always gets one or two. Please gimme more guys, always intrigue me to know where I’ve wronged and how I can improve. But sadly, I don’t really get them. Some from my friends, but very few. Absolutely from family – that’s what family does righttttt? And sarcastically too. Hahahahaha. No doubt from my husband who last time wasn’t like this but I nurtured him to be one until it gets quite uncontrollable. Hahaha. But I take it that he covers the parts where my friends do not.

If done right, confessions are really healthy for any relationships. Provided that you say it softly and regretfully too. Make sure to remove all egos first before starting one because what you really feel inside can really be felt by the people around you. You’ve heard of vibes? Yeap, that’s the one. If you are confessing just because you want people to think that you are a good person, it will feel fake. So, get your intentions right and inshaAllah it will all be smooth sailing.

To be honest, I don’t really have a particular topic to bring about in this piece. Maybe just to mark my 25th year of living and to let all of you know that I am writing a travelogue of our backpacking experience which I hope to publish the book soon. Well, we’ll see how it goes, shall we. InshaAllah <3

Thanks a lot, you’ve all been an amazing support system.

I love you. Mwahs